Regret

Regret

The stillness of my darkened thoughts left me breathlessly waiting till the crushing grief of my mangled heart withdrew its condemnation, to brace myself steady, till I could gather strength again

I sank slowly down upon the mussed feathered bed waiting, gazing through the open threshold of our secreted abode, waiting, till the lingering presence of him faded into the drifting, gathering clouds, and like the billowy clouds that would  slowly separate into themselves, so had we, as if we had never existed

My bruised inner voice cried in low plaintive sounds, listen, listen, you feeble heart, stop you’re damned relentless beating, I have not the courage to silence you, damn us, the foolish lovers, damn the makers of fools

I swallowed the bitter sour taste of regret as it sank then slowly swelled mercilessly in the pit of my belly

I forced my unwilling body to heave itself upward, struggling for composure; to amass its form into a semblance of pride, to venture out into the gardens of our first meeting, to inhale a new beginning, to allow my soul to accept what remained to be left behind, and willfully seek the path that led me back into the world of which I knew

And there I saw in the distance the sun retreating into its slumber, dusk had come quietly and now...it slowly settled gently and peacefully around me