Melting

Melting

I sat atop my lofty pedestal, reveling in generous praise offered by strangers

And I, in my tormented mind of thought, would fall from their intended grace, for I did not seek their admiration, but who was I without it?

I would take their hand, and smile politely as I wandered around the room and my beleaguered thoughts captured my being, to warn me of impending doom

I saw myself floating gracefully down, giving the wind its honor

And, I would melt slowly, into the icy puddles of layered snow

My bones would become chilled and I would shudder, the fear would bit at my flesh and crawl into my very being to freeze my soul

I would cry, and fall into the clutches of despair and I would mourn

I would choke back the tears that welled in my eyes and the pain in my heart

And beg for the curtains to be drawn around me, till I would cry no more

I would melt

Devotion

Devotion

Daybreak came creeping across the opened windows rousing us from slumber; our bodies still entangled from a night of blissful lovemaking, but the light of the morning’s sun had broken the spell

 Your seductive hands traveled over my body, as it arched in pleasure in remembrance of the night

 Murmured, seductive words of hungered devotion you whispered softly, as our desire for each other became stronger with every movement of our bodies

 How I ached for it to be real again, for the curtains to shield us from the light, and the music would play its soft melody,  and I would lie helplessly in your warm embrace, you brushed the tiny strands of hair from my face

 Mornings were truly my awakening, for it was all a fantasy, a cruel and deliberate hoax the night had played, and I had been its puppet

 A dream made from the mind of a foolish dreamer, never to be relived; except for in a dream

 You took her hand in marriage, I took his, and the tender words of hungered devotion whispered softly so long ago, still comfort me

Regret

Regret

The stillness of my darkened thoughts left me breathlessly waiting till the crushing grief of my mangled heart withdrew its condemnation, to brace myself steady, till I could gather strength again

I sank slowly down upon the mussed feathered bed waiting, gazing through the open threshold of our secreted abode, waiting, till the lingering presence of him faded into the drifting, gathering clouds, and like the billowy clouds that would  slowly separate into themselves, so had we, as if we had never existed

My bruised inner voice cried in low plaintive sounds, listen, listen, you feeble heart, stop you’re damned relentless beating, I have not the courage to silence you, damn us, the foolish lovers, damn the makers of fools

I swallowed the bitter sour taste of regret as it sank then slowly swelled mercilessly in the pit of my belly

I forced my unwilling body to heave itself upward, struggling for composure; to amass its form into a semblance of pride, to venture out into the gardens of our first meeting, to inhale a new beginning, to allow my soul to accept what remained to be left behind, and willfully seek the path that led me back into the world of which I knew

And there I saw in the distance the sun retreating into its slumber, dusk had come quietly and now...it slowly settled gently and peacefully around me

Untitled

Untitled

The Gods would not listen to my fevered, pleading prayers; as I whimpered kneeling at the altar; my heart was burdened in great despair as I clung to my book of faith

My spiritless soul cried out in anguish, what hell, what wrath am I to be condemned too?

Who is my guardian; the doors to heaven have been slammed and locked against me, turning me away?

Where is my savior?

Oh, the prying eyes of the judges, my peers, pronouncing my sentencing, and it weighed heavily upon my broken being; they grinned and snarled with hands outreached grasping for the remains of my meager offerings

Take what I have I beg of you, my last few pieces of gold, and allow the passage back to where it all began, crying in the cradle!